The Joys of Marriage

When my parents just announced one fine day that we’re looking for prospects for you, I wasn’t sure as to how to take it. The idea of living a life, devoting your life for just one person – that teenage perspective of “Vo hi daal-rice” was flipping in my head. Also, what if to your surprise that daal-rice is not what you expected out to be?

Well, we all go through this, isn’t it? I am glad that God ensured that I hop into it and taste the joys of marriage, also showing me how I’d love it more with each passing day. It is so much about evolving yourself to a much higher version of you to handle the child in your husband. From the initial lovey-dovey phase, to the knowing phase, to accepting one, to transforming one. Each phase is a beautiful journey.

There were times when I would wonder, how can a person be so insanely practical, me going all mad about it – to now, loving the same man, oh! So, madly! There were times when I used to crib about how can he not draw some WE time over the weekend, getting so fussy about it – to now, planning our weekends by myself and sometimes just being all by myself – no husband, no friends around, just being with a nice book and coffee. Not to mention, those days are the happiest ones for my husband – for he chooses to simply sleep!

However, to bring down to this level of understanding and seamlessness, we’ve both gone through our own transformations to accept and appreciate each other’s eccentricities. There are 3 mantras that has primarily helped me to make our journey a celebration every single day.

Firstly, to simply love unconditionally – love is truly not love if we put conditions to it and it will never help us to sail happily. Even I took my own sweet time to evolve here – for we always expect our partners to behave in a certain way, to express their love in a certain way and our expectations remains unmatched there’s a modern Ramayana happening in your own house. A relationship flourishes when we focus more on giving than on receiving. There’s this innate, unmatched, new found joy in finding ways to make your partner truly special.

Next is to ‘Give Respect’, if your partner does not feel respected, boom – the relationship falls apart gradually. Each one of us deserve to be respected the way we are. I had seen countless of marriages that didn’t work out for their spouse wasn’t respected, I’d done a mental note that I’ll ensure that my husband feels respected and wanted every single day. Also, I am glad and forever grateful that I never had to go through this feeling of being disrespected by my husband.

Lastly, and most importantly the sense of freedom that your partner deserves. The house won’t stand tall – if two pillars are too close to each other, it’s suffocating and maddening. The space between those pillars makes so much meaning – makes your home. Love your partner’s quirkiness, accept them the way they are – choking them with your ideologies and perspectives will lead to nothing but hurt. I am so blessed that both of us share this freedom of thoughts and just being US, it’s so beautiful. I love the witty, gregarious, extrovert in him and he loving my emotional, silent, ambivert me. Love truly blossoms when we stop expecting a mango from an orange tree or vice-versa.

I am growing in love with myself, with life and with our beautiful marriage – in spite of, despite of – for that’s life. It might sound too cliché but never miss out to steal a kiss, to be vocal about how much you love them, express them through your words and actions, it brings a different kind of life to your relationship and marriage.