The journey of transformations

Waves, they gently stroked my feet as I stood by, in awe by the beach. I could feel the sand sticking around and my feet dug a little deep as the gushing wave merged into the sea yet again. The gentle breeze stroking my hair and I dissolved into the sound of magnetic salt water. The bright yellow sky was turning into hues of blue with just an orange ball of fire melting into nothingness at the other end.

I was simply in awe of life, smiling in gratitude as to how my life has been evolving. This same girl – a few years back would be seen with tears trickling down through her cheeks, questioning God, why me God? Why me, for all the troubles?

Waves – gently kissing my feet yet again, in pride.

My Guru quotes it so beautifully, ‘Transformation is a transformation when your own past feels like someone else’s past.’ I felt the same, this time, I could feel it in every cell of my being.

Week after week, as I would write my WoW sessions, I never realised that one day the transformations that seemed so insignificant in a week, would feel so monumental after months. Sessions, that changed not just through the superficial layers that you can see through my writing, but even at the subconscious level that shifted the very way I look at life itself!

Today, as I walk to the podium to recite one of my poems at an open mic, I know, a minimum of 20 pair of eyes are judging me. And yet, I am so comfortable in my own skin, for I know, I am evolving the way these individuals are. I am so okay, if I am judged less, for it makes no difference to the way I see myself, through my own eyes. And undeniably, there’s always a scope of improvement.

Waves – splashing up until my knees in rejoice.

Today, every time I experiment with something new, I worry less on what will people think of me, and I am more concerned on is it the right thing to do. So often, in my life, I had made decisions to get societal approval, to feel part of a group, to be in good books of others and said NO to my own conscience guiding me towards right choices.

It is okay to feel different, it is okay to be looked at a little differently. We were never cut down from the same molds, we were never expected to have same choices, preferences, hobbies or thinking! The girl who was a little hesitant to say it to even an aide that her inclination is towards mythology and scriptures now proudly announces that she loves to dwell in the stories of Ramayana, Mahabharata or Bhagvad gita than that new pop song or event.

Waves – they kissed me with love.

Relationships – they’re no more casual to me. It is as though I have forged through that superficial layer within me, and I look beyond. I look beyond what is told and what isn’t. I connect from the space of giving, what is it that I can give them that can make their life a little beautiful, be it those tiny moments, wisdom that I have gained through my mentor and guru or just one warm hug that makes them feel special.

Relationships – they mean so much to me, only because I started loving myself for the version I am and all that I am becoming. You can give, what you have. And I am so full of love that I feel like spreading it all across.

Waves – they splash seemingly making me feel closer to my God. It felt as though my relationship with my God too was evolving.