Be unapologetically YOU

Mumbai locals – the only place where we almost hug each other quite literally. Yet, you may find someone like me, too intrigued in a book seeming that all the outside noise is canceled. The one thing that I’ve missed during the times of covid is reading books in trains, with the wind in the hair, some sweaty females around, some peacefully waiting for the next stop while few being too anxious to reach the destination, while most smiling at their cell phones.

I’ve loved reading people – like not really judging any, just observing the antics, their flow, often even wondering why the other is lost so much in thoughts. But most of the time, it’s just a small romance between me and the books, and none can kill it, believe me.

If ever I see someone, who I just know and there’s something really interesting to hold on to the book, I can happily avoid the other with ease and peace. Not that I want to offend someone, just that I am anyways not okay with short casual conversations.

Well, that’s a little of me – a little of an introvert in me. Ask me how I am doing, and the answers are usually in monosyllables. Not that my life is outrageously boring as my response is, but that’s how I am. Ask me to join you for clubbing or late-night parties and you might never see the enthusiasm beaming through me. Even if I hop in, I’d carry on till I am loving it, just when the boredom peeps in my head, I might pick a corner and sleep – happily.

When I saw the famous movie ‘Yeh Jawani Hai Diwani’, I could pretty much relate to padhaku Naina. Just that I did not suddenly become too sexy once I took off the glasses.

I am sure most of you can meet the real me in my poems and words. My thoughts are louder and clearer, not really hushed by any. Every sunset doesn’t seem like a usual one, somedays it unfurls the lover in me, on some I ponder over the depths of life, on other harsh days, it settles the negative emotions in me that are at their peak. I look forward to sunsets and sunrises too – it gives me a feeling that I am a small part of this whole.

Well, this is not the random introvert blabber, nor am I complaining about it. I am happy the way I am, and I am loving every bit of me – off lately. It’s these eccentricities that are helping me become what I aspire to become. This is for all my readers who are a little quirky, not so usual, or flamboyant as others around. Do not think that you’re any less than anyone in the world. You are beautiful inside out – it’s we who have designed the shrewd narrow boxes and you might not fit into any. And that’s perfectly fine.

You know what – somewhere I’ve observed that we all feel in a way – that we do not fit into any of the labeled boxes – the sanskri bahu, the feminist, the intense ones, the carefree, bold, chatterers, outgoing or flamboyant ones. We might be a mix of these or might be none and that’s okay. We’re often too harsh on ourselves, looking at our flaws, more focused on what we lack than what we are. Rather what you consider as your flaw might be your greatest blessing!

Ever wondered what would a coconut plant feel if we keep complaining about it – why the shell is so hard? Or Why so tall? Isn’t that it’s because of the hard shell it carries the water all packed with nutrients? Now either complain all your life for the way it is or simply broaden your perspective to understand it’s because of how it’s made – the world gets what it gets.

It’s taken me quite a few years to love the individuality and dynamism in me. You got to love yours to flourish in the areas you wish to flourish.

The quirky ones reading this – I understand.

I understand what you go through each day, often dynamite whirling within you and not a single word to express. It’s okay – find your way to get it all out.

I understand if you’re simply smiling in a group of 20, loving every moment, but not really feeling to express.

Here’s this thing though, we can’t really expect others to understand what we go through – choose a medium to express, I write - find yours. The better you express, the better this world will understand you and lessen the emotional breakdowns. And most importantly accept and love the way you are!

Well, to those who simply feel to express how they feel about themselves if there’s an urge to express – about anything. Mail me at – jkantaria1991@gmail.com or drop me a line below. I promise I won’t judge. I’d love to listen, maybe that’s how we introverts can connect better?